Surviving the meltdown

As usual, I was debating a nuance of policy with my boss in office.Somehow the conversation digressed to the bleak economic condition of today with bankruptcies, bailouts and redundancies galore.This is when you feel most lucky at working in a statutory organization setup,which is kind of impervious to both booms and busts.Dr Doom, are you listening?

However, when I read a news snippet about the Pakistani government being on the verge of bankruptcy, I was shaken out of my complacency.It seems,though a tad unlikely,that governments are capable of going bust too!

That was when I took immediate action.No, I did not draw up a financial master plan to save our economy, only a master plan to save myself from the meltdown.Let me list it out for the benefit of humankind-after all, I have to temper my selfishness with altruism.

1.The first consideration is 'roti' or food.As I am a vegetarian, and the prices of vegetables are shooting up like hell,I have made a list of gurudwaras with langars.They serve very tasty, wholesome food and I will ensure that familiarity does not breed contempt by gracing all of them in turn with my presence.

2.For 'kapda' or clothing,I have cancelled my plans of gifting old clothing to servants/needy.If anybody comments about my attire looking old, I will respond by using the time honoured excuse of "Don't you know this exhibition where they are displaying these costly pieces with a deliberate antique look?This is haute couture,yaar."Further, I plan to join tailoring classes and is possible, buy a spinning wheel.I can sport a halo of a follower of Mahatma Gandhi and save a bomb on cloth too.

3.'Makan' or housing is a problem in Mumbai at the best of times.More so when your pocket mirrors the dilapidation of the economy.But I have 2 solutions. One is to find a haunted flat in Mumbai-the more ghosts the better.People will avoid it like the plague and if you go to live there,there is an outside chance of finding a friendly ghost who might act like a djinn!The second is to purchase a good old jhuggi and rent it out.With all the possibilities of redevelopment,the rent you get from there might just cover a major portion of the rent you have to shell out for the flat you stay in.

The three major concerns having been met, the next like transport,entertainment,etc lend themselves to easy enough solutions.For instance, you might join a car pool without owning a car yourself ,on the strength of the sheer charm of your personality and wit.You might offer to meet the entertainment needs of your friends with they meeting your transport needs.Of course,rail travel in Mumbai will normally take care of both.Transport will be affordable and there'll be loads of entertainment what with the catcalls,fistfights and amateur musicals.And there is the added benefit of farewell to your gym membership with more than adequate exercise in the running for the trains and holding on for dear life once you've got into them.

Hey, not bad at all!I have just discovered that it is possible to stay alive,active and cheerful even in an expensive city like Mumbai.I feel like saying like John Donne'Recession,be not proud!'

( Dr Doom is an epithet for Marc Faber,who is determinedly bearish.

"Death, be not proud" is a famous poem by John Donne.Here's the complete text http://classiclit.about.com/library/bl-etexts/jdonne/bl-jdonne-death.htm )